


Volderstuck

by divisio



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Sadstuck, Suicidal Thoughts, Zombies, tw: discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-30 21:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divisio/pseuds/divisio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After releasing mind-control technology that ultimately backfired, CrockerCorp quarantines Earth, a planet overrun with disease and chaos.  Takes place years after SBURB/SGRUB.  Starts from Dave's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Over

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! This is an idea I've been playing with for a while now, but I wasn't sure how to start it. The idea for Voldernauts was originally created by tumblr user Phrawger. You can find out more information about Voldernauts and their nature here:  
> http://infinitypedia.ath.cx/wiki/Voldernaut

          “Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!”

          This isn’t quite the way you imagined this day would go; a quick supply run, and then back to the safe house in time for dinner.  But those bastards got the jump on you, and now here you are with your back pressed against a hastily boarded door, shakily loading fresh shells into a shotgun you picked up from a nearby Walmart, while they attempt to beat down the aforementioned door with their bare hands.  Outlook: you’re fucked.  It’s probably no use trying to fight with a firearm at this point.  You’ve got to reload after every two shots with the mere handful of bullets you managed to scavenge.  Taking down this many ‘nauts is going to take nothing short of a miracle.

          “What the hell are you going to do now, hot shot?”  You don’t even look up at your companion as you tear apart your supply bag searching for an answer.  “Unless I’m mistaken (and I’m usually not when it comes to simple equations such as the one that has been graciously bestowed upon you today), it doesn’t look like odds are in your favor.”

          “Yeah, nice observation.”  A little more digging, and… there it is!  A single handgun with a single bullet.  You were saving it for an emergency.  This qualifies as an emergency.

          “Hey, slow down!  You’re not really planning on using that piece of shit, are you?”  You check the clip and make sure the bullet is still in there.  It would be just your luck not to have it when you actually need it.  Exactly one bullet is accounted for.  You allow yourself a quick glance up.  He isn’t looking at you, either.  “I’m not saying I blame you, but is this really what you want?  The Dave Strider I know would want to go down swinging, not sitting here alone in a fucking-- what is this, a drugstore?  He’d take out every one of those assholes and still have bullets to spare.”

          “That’s just it, Karkat.  I don’t have bullets to spare.  I don’t have time to spare.  I don’t have anything to spare right now except for maybe fear and resignation.”

          He snorts.  “It won’t even work.”

          Your head thumps back against the door and you bite your lip.  “Maybe it will.”

          “You can’t be sure of that.  You would just be wasting a bullet if you‘re wrong.  This isn’t your exit, and we both know that.  And what about me?”

          You look up at Karkat.  He’s the same as he’s always been: small, loud, nub-horned, mouthy, completely unscathed and unbroken.  He’s even wearing the same clothing.  This is how you’ll remember him just before you’re finally done on this godforsaken planet.  “What _about_ you?  You’re not real.  You’re probably not even alive.”

          “See, you’re just full of assumptions tonight.  I could still be alive.  If your memory serves you correctly, I’m tough as nails.”

          “You cried at the end of Titanic even after the twenty-third time you watched it.”

          He smirks.  “So did you, and you’re still alive.”  You smile what you’re sure will be your last smile and turn the gun over in your hands.  “You should at least say goodbye.  You owe me that much.  And I want a real goodbye; not the usual brand of half-assed vague bullshit that you‘re always spewing.”  And then he’s gone.  He was never there to begin with, but it was nice to pretend.  You’re truly alone in this, and that terrifies you.

          You swallow and hold down a button on your watch.  “Karks… this might be the millionth time I’ve tried this damn thing.  I stopped counting a long time ago.  Maybe you could hear me the whole time, maybe you’ve been trying to respond…  I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore.”  You swallow again, hard.  You don’t want your last words to sound broken.  “Point is, I’m backed into a corner here, and my options are slim.  I wanted you to know that I tried, Karkat.  I really tried to find you all.  It all happened so fast, and then I was alone, and I’ve been doing my fucking best to keep myself alive with some bizarre dream that I’d be the hero this city deserves and rescue everyone.  I‘m not a hero.  I never was.  I‘ve always been just some kid with a sword pretending he knows what he‘s doing.”

          Behind you, it sounds like they’re starting to make a dent in the door.  You shiver.  “I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this one, dude.  If you can hear me… you’ve been a great friend, Karks.  The best.  I hope you realize that.  I hope I didn’t disappoint you too badly.”  You release the button and close your eyes.  The wood sounds like it’s splintering now.  You put the pistol away and decide to take Fake Karkat’s advice and pick up the shotgun.  With that and your sword handy, you might be able to take them.

          “You forgot to say ‘over’, dipshit.”  Your eyes pop back open.  The voice is surrounded by static, but it’s definitely coming from the watch, and though it‘s lower than you remember, it‘s definitely his voice.  “I can’t believe I have to come down there and rescue your sorry ass.  You’d think a valiant knight of time who has achieved godhood would be able to handle himself.  Fucking pathetic.  Where are you?”  Christ, you haven’t heard that voice in years.

          “K-Karkat?” you choke out.

          “No, it’s troll Will Smith.  Answer the goddamn question or you can forget about the whole thing.  You can‘t be that far.  This piece of shit talky only has a limited range now.”

          It’s not over.  “I’m at a pharmacy somewhere.  Ninth street, I think?”

          “I know where that is.  Can you hold out for another ten minutes?”

          You sit up straight.  “T-ten minutes.”  Deep breaths.  “I can do that.”

          “Great.  Don’t fucking die, hero.”


	2. Ten minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feedback, guys! I enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope you all enjoy reading it!

          You should have known that holding out for ten minutes was easier said than done.  The door has finally given out under the weight of the voldernauts' pounding fists, and you are forced to retreat into the back room.  The place has already been ransacked.  Of course, that means that the door won't lock.  There is nothing that you could possibly move by yourself to block the door, so you've only backed yourself further into this corner you've created for yourself.  Excellent.

          You make your way to the other side of the room and aim your shotgun directly at the door.  At least the amount of voldernauts that can get in at once is controlled.  The bullets fired from the shotgun take down one voldernaut after another, but the sound is certain to alert more of them to your location.  The ammunition disappears more quickly than you had anticipated, and the horrifyingly mobile creatures begin to flood the room.  Your sword is in your hand before you can even think, and you're slashing through bodies, leaving a pile of blood-drenched corpses on the floor where they once stood.

          There are too many of them, however.  There's no way it has been ten minutes yet, but the feeling in the pit of your stomach tells you that you've already failed.  A voldernaut lunges at you and your sword slips through your fingers as the blade pierces his torso.

          "Shit!"  You slam your boot into a ravenous face as one of the women launches herself on top of you.  Your sword is lost somewhere in the crowd now, and shoes aren't going to cut it.  You are barely holding the same woman off as more and more clambor over to you.  Her teeth are bared, and she's clawing at your arms.  Silently, you apologize to Karkat for not staying alive long enough, and then shut your eyes.  Your elbows are still locked, holding back the single voldernaut, but you feel hands grasping at your ankles now.  Sooner or later, you're going to get bitten or otherwise infected.

          A series of piercing bangs goes off in your head, and your ears start ringing.  It must be the virus taking effect.  There is a massive weight on your chest now, and you start counting down from ten, awating the inevitable.

          You reach zero.  Everything is numb and quiet, aside from the single tone that won't seem to go away, but otherwise it doesn't feel any different.  The weight disappears from your chest, and you hear a voice in the distance.  Someone is shaking you, and your eyes open.  It's Karkat.  He's saying something, but the only thing you can make out is your name.

          You try to ask if he's real, but you can't find your voice.  His hand strikes the side of your face and the ringing in your ears fades as you regain your senses.

          "Did you have a nice nap?"

          You sit up, blinking.  "What happened?"

          "I think you blacked out for a second.  Are you hurt?"  He's holding a gun - probably the source of the banging that caused the buzzing in your head.

          You run your hands over your body, but apart from a few scrapes and bruises, you can't find any wounds.  "No.  No, I think I'm okay."  Karkat offers a hand, and it takes you a second to realize that it's made of metal.  You tentatively accept it.  "What happened to your arm?"

          He hoists you back to your feet and looks you over.  "Oh, that's Dirk's handywork.  I was bitten while we were traveling together, and he... well, he handled it."

          You raise your eyebrows.  "Firstly, that actually worked?  And secondly, you were with Dirk?"

          He reloads his gun and you retrieve your weapon before following him back out of the building.  "I'm not a voldernaut, am I?  And I only hung out with Dirk for a little while.  But that was about eight months ago, give or take, and he said he preferred to travel alone."

          "Is he...?"

          "He was alive the last time I saw him.  I'm sure the resilient bastard is still out there, too.  Are you traveling with anyone, or do stupidity and recklessness run in the family?"

          "I'm alone.  I was with Jade for a while when it started, but..."  You trail off, and Karkat throws you a look of sympathy.  "I haven't been able to find anyone since.  Are you a one-man show now, too?"

          Karkat takes a moment to decapitate a voldernaut, and then shuffles you out of the street.  "No.  I'm with Kanaya, but unfortunately, she couldn't join us for this lovely reunion.  She's... let's just say she's a little under the weather."

          "Well, that wasn't the least bit ominous."

          He lets out an exasperated sigh and turns to face you.  "She's a rainbow drinker, Dave.  She needs blood as much as we need food.  It's really fucking inconvenient and usually ends up driving other people away.  That's why it's just been me and her for the most part.  Can we talk about this later?"

          You don't even hesitate.  "I wouldn't mind donating to the cause."

          His eyes brighten, but he looks skeptical.  "You... seriously?"

          You shrug.  "Yeah.  You saved my ass just now.  It's the least I could do.  I mean, as long as you don't mind having me--"  Karkat yanks you into a hug.  He's a lot stronger than you remember.  "--around.  Okay then."

          "It's been a long time, Dave."

          Your arms tighten around him.  "I know it has, Karks."  You can't remember the last time someone hugged you.  Was it when Jade was still around, or before that?  All you know is it feels good and you don't want it to end.  But it does, and then he punches you in the arm.  "Ow!  What the hell was that for?"

          "I thought you were dead, you asshole!"  He crosses his arms.  Somehow, despite the fact that he's a grown-ass man, the fact that he's sulking is still adorable as hell.

          "Sorry.  I'll be sure to send you a post card next time."

          "You fucking better."


	3. Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to update this. I got caught up with school and work and just have not had the motivation to work on fanfics. Plus, I've been working on a bigger fan project that you may be seeing in the future. Probably not the NEAR future, but keep an eye out.  
> Enjoy!

          When the two of you arrive at the little building that Karkat and Kanaya are holed up in, the first thing that happens is you get a chainsaw shoved under your chin.  Startled and confused, you raise your hands in surrender.  It takes you a moment to get your bearings, but you manage to get a good look at Kanaya, and she looks… well, not good.  There are dark circles under her weary eyes, her hair is a sickly, almost gray mess, and her knees threaten to buckle at any second.

          Karkat pushes you back just enough that he can get between you and the deadly weapon.  It isn’t until just now that you realize Karkat is, by some miracle, taller than you.  Not by much, but it is able to shatter your entire worldview.  “Come on, Kanaya.  It’s just Dave.  He offered to help us.”

          She narrows her eyes at him before withdrawing the weapon.  “We don’t need anyone else.”

          He snorts.  “Take a good fucking look at us before you make that decision.  We have a rainbow drinker who hasn’t had a proper meal in months and a mutant fuckup who has sludge running through his veins that wouldn’t even properly nurture his rainbow drinker moirail even if she drained him on the spot.  Do you know how much strain it would take off both of us to have another blood supply?  Not to mention someone who is fucking god tier to help protect us.  Maybe we could even find a place to actually settle down.”

          You step out from behind Karkat, and Kanaya eyes you warily.  She doesn’t argue, however.  The truth in Karkat’s words is undeniable.  “Strider: it’s what’s for dinner.”  Your attempt at humor goes unappreciated as she throws mental daggers at you.  “Oh, lighten up, will you?”  You pause to laugh as you realize the double meaning behind your words.  “Get it?  Because you’re a vampire.”

          “Get out.”

          For once, Karkat isn’t the angriest person in the room.  “She’s just kidding,” he says cautiously.  “Come with me.  I’ll give you a tour, and then we can attempt to feed the beast.”  You can’t help but grin; you’ve missed this so much.  Kanaya is still seething as he takes you by the arm and leads you into the makeshift kitchen, but she doesn’t follow.

          The building they have taken over appears to have been a small house with two stories and a fire escape that can be lowered from one of the bedrooms.  You like it because it has many barred exits that can easily be accessed from the inside if the need for a hasty escape arises.  There is more food in this kitchen than you’ve seen in a while, but something tells you it won’t last long between three people.  Maybe with Kanaya’s new source of nutrition and an extra body, supply runs won’t be so difficult, though.

          “This is the nutrition block,” Karkat announces, breaking you away from your train of thought.  You had forgotten about the weird names trolls had for mundane objects.  “Are you hungry?”

          For the first time, you get a good look at Karkat.  He’s older and worn, but somehow less tense than you remember.  You suppose with Kanaya becoming so uptight, Karkat had to loosen up to make up for it.  Or maybe he’s just glad to finally have someone new to talk to.  You know you are.  As you continue your inspection, you notice that he has duct-tape wound around most of his body, excluding joints and other inconvenient areas, such as his face.  You don’t know why you didn’t think of that.  Duct-tape isn’t exactly the easiest material to bite through.  His eyes have more red in them now, and that somehow makes you feel closer to him.  His horns haven’t grown in the slightest, unlike his companion’s, which have grown at least an inch since you last saw her.  Karkat isn’t just taller now either, but also bigger all around, as though he’s been training.  You suppose you’ve probably gained some muscle weight as well, but it’s less noticeable to you since you were present for the gradual transformation.

          You realize that you still haven’t answered his question and are thankful that your shades have concealed the fact that you’ve essentially been checking him out for several minutes.  He’s staring at you impatiently now.  “Oh, uh… Nah.  I’ve got some food in my sylladex.”  You’re not sure you’re ready to eat their food yet.  Maryam might not take too kindly to that.

          “Let’s move along, then.”  The tour doesn’t last long and ends with him showing you one of the bedrooms, where they have set up two single-sized mattresses.  You suppose trolls had to learn to adapt to the human tradition of sleeping on mattresses instead of in pools of slime or uncomfortable piles of useless garbage.  “This is all we have for now, but I guess you can sleep with me until we get you another mattress.  Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face or you’ll be sleeping with the voldernauts.”  You didn’t even realize you had been grinning, but you purse your lips.

          When you go back downstairs, Kanaya is sitting on the floor in the corner of what was once a living room.  She quietly chews on a strip of beef jerky while evidently resenting the entire population of the safe-house.  You can’t help but wonder whether vampires need more or less food than normal people.  What even qualifies as a normal person these days, anyway?

Despite the fact that Kanaya is looking at Karkat disdainfully, he marches up to her without any hesitation.  You’re not sure you could do that - Kanaya scares the shit out of you, moreso than any voldernaut could.  He pulls her to her feet and then beckons you over.  You approach tentatively.

          “Are you sure you’re up for this?” Karkat asks.

          You aren’t sure, but you nod.  “So how’s this gonna go down?  You’re not going to get all weird and intimate with my neck, are you?”

          She looks disgusted.  “Your wrist will suffice.”

          You hold out your wrist, surprised at how gently she takes it.  “Hey, if she sucks me dry, do you think it would be a heroic death?”

          Kanaya’s fingers tighten around your arm.  “Stop talking.  It will make this go by more pleasantly for both of us.”  You wince as her sharp fangs pierce your skin.


	4. Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally picked this one up again. Sorry for the wait. Life happens, and I've been dealing with the consequences.

          The mattress you're lying on isn't exactly huge, but there's at least enough space for two adults to lie comfortably without getting in each other's space.  At least, that's what you thought when you went to sleep last night.  The situation is a lot more awkward than you had anticipated when you awaken.  You are lying on your back with Karkat lying partially on top of you, his head tucked under your chin and his metal arm underneath your torso.  Having never shared a bed with anyone, you're not exactly certain what to do in a situation like this.

          "Karkat," you whisper, reaching up to push his unruly hair away from your mouth.

          "Mnh?" he murmurs, his face right up against your neck.

          "Okay," you say a little louder, causing him to jerk into a fully conscious state.  "Didn't have this level of intimacy in mind so soon, but whatever floats your goat, bro."  He rolls away from you a little too quickly and almost falls off the bed before catching himself and landing on his feet.

          "Sorry," he grumbles.  "Oh, son of a fucking shitpipe!"

          "It wasn't  _that_ bad.  I mean, I didn't mind the extra heat since it's starting to get colder out, but--"

          "No, shut up.  It's not that; it's-- my arm locked up.  Can you come over here and help me out?"

          "Oh."  You walk around the bed to meet him.  It took you until now to realize that Kanaya's bed is empty.  She must have already headed downstairs.  Karkat's metal arm is at the same uncomfortable angle it was when he woke up, and the fingers at the end of it are just twitching uselessly in front of him.  "Er... what do I do?"

          "Just straighten the joints out.  I'll take care of the rest."

          His arm is still warm from where you had just been lying on it.  There's a mechanical creak and a click when you pull his elbow into place.  He whimpers.  "Are you okay?"

          "I'm-I'm fine.  Just keep going."  You work on his shoulder next.  This evokes another cry of pain.  He takes a deep breath and urges you to continue.  Once you've straightened his wrist and fingers, he starts moving his arm around stiffly, clenching and unclenching his fist while using his other hand to rub the shoulder where the metal is attached.

          "Does this happen a lot?"

          "Only when I sleep on it like that."  Karkat stretches his good arm behind him to massage the back of his shoulder, but he's struggling to reach it.  Without being prompted to do so, you get closer to him so you can help.  "I'm just trying to rub some fucking feeling back into this useless stump.  You don't have to--"  He tenses up when your hands get near him, but then relaxes as you start gently kneading the muscles adjacent to the metal.

          "Better?"

          "Yeah."  One of your hands drops as the other settles somewhere between his shoulder blade and his neck.  You haven't backed off yet, and you're not quite sure why.  He's looking you right in the eyes as he moves closer to you.

          Kanaya clears her throat from the doorway, and you both stumble away from each other.  "Breakfast is ready.  I made flat pastries."

          "Great, I'm starving."  Karkat rushes past her out of the room and you hear him thunder down the stairs.  You collect your glasses and get up to follow him, but Kanaya puts a hand against your chest.  You cock an eyebrow at her.

          "I urge you to carefully consider whatever it is you are planning on doing with Karkat," she says sharply.  "He has seen plenty of pain in his life, and he doesn't need any more."

          "I wasn't--"

          "You were.  And before you make any rash decisions, I want you to be  _very_ sure that they are the right ones, because if you so much as  _think_ about hurting Karkat in _any_  way, I assure you, your death will not be quick.  Do I make myself clear?"

          You have to remind yourself to start breathing again.  "Crystal."

          Kanaya smiles and her tone shifts into an eerily cheerful one.  "Great.  Come down for breakfast whenever you're ready."  With a graceful swish of her skirt, she proceeds downstairs.

\--

          You don't know exactly what you were expecting when Kanaya mentioned "flat pastries", but it definitely wasn't thin, semi-burnt pancakes.  You suppose you can't expect trolls to be master chefs when it comes to human food when the instructions are in practically another language to them.  Apart from the charred bits, they aren't even that terrible, but you're not about to beg her for more, either.  None of you are looking at each other, and the tension in the room is making the air almost too thick to breathe.  You're starting to wonder if coming here was a mistake.

          Kanaya is the first to get up.  She gives you a warning look as she departs, but evidently has enough faith that Karkat can handle himself when left alone in a room with you.

          He puts down his fork and looks up at you.  "Can I ask you something?"

          You're finding it difficult to breathe again.  "Uh, sure."

          "Do you think it's safe here?"

          You exhale.  "Well, now that you mention it, not really.  You're kind of in an open area that was once pretty densely populated.  I mean, we're safe right now, but what happens when the 'nauts all start detecting us?  Those fuckers are stronger than we give them credit for.  Get a few of them up against a single door, and they'll knock it down before you can think about exit routes.  Personally, I think it'd be safer to ditch this place as soon as possible and find somewhere that's got thick walls and a fence."

          "Yeah, that's what I thought too.  But I've been having a lot of trouble finding a place like that."

          You dig a rolled up map out of your bag and roll it out on the table.  "I marked off a few places up north that I had planned on checking out.  There were a couple rumors floating around a while back that one of the bigger surviving groups managed to barricade themselves in a school building and there's a little community living in it now.  That one's actually further west, but there are plenty of defensible places along the way that we could clean up and crash at."

          He's leaning forward to get a better look at the map, and has strategically placed his hand on top of yours.  You try to ignore it.  "Is that worth the risk?"

          "If there are more people there, yeah."

          "I don't know if you've noticed, but Kanaya doesn't really work well with bigger groups of people."

          "We can ease them into it," you assure him.  "Let them know that the blood thing is negotiable.  We can provide labor, protection, supplies, whatever they want if anyone's willing to volunteer.  And if not, she can just have our blood.  It's not like we're forcing anyone to give up their blood, and we're not going to be dead weight anywhere we stay either."

          "It's not that simple.  You and I are used to this kind of thing, but other people just can't get simple fucking concepts through their thick skulls.  Kanaya's not a monster, she's just got different needs."

          "Alright, alright.  We don't have to go there.  There are plenty of other places here.  Check it out: there's a national bank not too far from here.  I bet they got hella reinforcement there."

          Karkat looks almost disgusted.  "Why can't we just send you to the school to check it out, and if the people seem accommodating and open to the idea of having a rainbow-drinker among them, we can follow?"

          You don't like the idea of getting separated again.  "I think we ought to stick together, just in case shit hits the proverbial fan."

          "Good point.  Okay, it seems like north is the best option, regardless, so we can head that way and discuss it when we get closer.  You and I can take today to scout ahead and find a new place, and then we'll come back for Kanaya and the supplies."

          "You're leaving Kanaya here?"

          "What are you, stupid?  Do you think she's in any kind of condition to be out there fighting those fucking spongeless robots?  We need to make sure it's safe before we drag her pathetic excuse for a body out there.  And I need you to cover my ass.  She'll be fine until we get back."

          "Okay then."  You start gathering your belongings.

          "Hold it, shitpilot.  There's another thing I wanted to ask you about."

          "Shoot."

          "Other than the pharmacy that you so idiotically managed to get yourself trapped in yesterday, there weren't any stores anywhere near that street, so you can't have been on a supply run.  What the actual fuck were you even doing out there?"

          "It's kind of a long story."

 


End file.
